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Becoming the Ultimate Empathizer

Empathy: The ability to identify with and experience the vicarious feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person.

This can be a huge benefit when we're persuading.

The following exercise can be used on a new affluent prospect or anyone at all. . .

This is about responding to your client or prospect's experiences. In a previous article I wrote about the pink bubble, and how to use that for rapport building. Well, in this exercise, we're going to figuratively experience what they experience.

When someone feels that kind of trust - where you are actually experiencing what they are going through - rapport is never far behind.

By employing this technique, you'll be able to naturally understand and gain deep rapport with someone you don't know very well.

You will need a role play partner for this one.

Ask your partner to think of anything. Call it 'A'. Notice how their body is arranged - facial features, breathing, muscle tension, gestures, etc. - and take a mental snapshot. This is how they represent thought 'A'.

After you've got your mental snapshot, break their state by having them look around the room or walk around and name three things they can see. This helps them to reorient, get their mind off 'A' and return to their normal state.

Next, have them think of something different from 'A'. Call this 'B'. It doesn't have to be the opposite, but just something completely different.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

And break the state again.

Here's where things get interesting. Have them think of either 'A' or 'B'. They're not supposed to tell you which, but you are to figure this out by looking at their expressions, their snapshot.

Once you've done this enough times, switch roles and let them enjoy the experience of being able to tell what you're thinking. You can begin to really know the people you deal with regularly.

Obviously, you're not going to sit down with a prospect and say, 'Let's practice this persuasion technique I just learned so that I can better understand you. . .' You're going to practice this with friends, family or maybe even a co-worker. This will really fine-tune your observation skills.

After a while, you will begin to recognize the smallest state changes in others as you converse with them. When they speak about certain topics, give you certain answers, you will actually experience them and they will feel it too.

The feelings this will elicit in your prospect and client might not be easily pinpointed, but they will feel a real connection to you.

What's the point? It's just another way to gain fast and powerful rapport at the same time putting your prospect into a state where they are feeling understood.

Another use for this. . . this can help you determine if you are being lied to.

Say you have a prospective client, you're a financial adviser, and you ask them how their finances are. Well, they may say they're "great" but their body language says differently. These verbal and nonverbal clues give away the prospect's real situation.

You can use other persuasive strategies to get this prospect to open up about their financial situation. And once you do that, you gain even more rapport, you get to the heart of their problem, and you can immediately introduce yourself and your service as the solution to their problem.

Article Source: http://www.dummiesguideto.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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