Kenrick Cleveland..'s Articles - Free article content at The Dummies Guide to Everything

Search:

Kenrick Cleveland..'s Articles

Display Category\|Title\|Newest\|Oldest
The Power of Focus in Persuasion Here's an understatement for you: we live in a world of distractions. In every facet of life we are bombarded. As I sit here typing, for example, I'm getting 'new e-mail' alerts, my assistant is instant messaging me, my kids and dog want to play, I'm thirsty, the phone is ringing. . . you get the point. Just writing one paragraph can be exhausting when there are so many things dividing ones attention. Enlarging the Frames "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl On Becoming Productive Through Persuasion One of the bonuses of learning to persuade is that we have the ability to work our skills on ourselves. When we apply self-persuasion, we can naturally accomplish anything we set our minds to. Good Habits Out of Bad Habits, by definition, are habitual things we do. Whether it be a habit of needing that after dinner cigarette or biting your fingernails during a stressful period, we all are creatures of habit no matter how spontaneous we like to think we are. Victim No More "Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." --Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC Cleaning Up Your Language: Persuasive Oration Language is a skill and an art, as is persuasion, and both can most definitely be mangled and turned into a disadvantage if used improperly. Unless you're a child prodigy, as Mozart was with composing and playing music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with writing poems, and as Pablo Picasso was artistically, then you will most likely have to practice whichever art you choose to become good at. Winning Through Framing I'm guessing this has never happened to you (or to anybody in the history of the world ever). You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, and you get pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to your car, you roll down the window, and he says, "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think maybe a slight infraction of the law has occurred. . . I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind showing me your license and registration. I'm so sorry to inconvenience you here." Rapport and Criteria: Two Sides of the Same Coin "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett auditory adventures As you listen to what I'm going to tell you, you'll begin to hear the way in which you can use these words to describe most anything. You can orient your phrases and the way in which you talk such that people will resonate with what you're saying very well. If you make your voice calm and smooth you'll probably have an even greater appeal as you verbalize the message you want to get across. You can tune in to what people are telling you as well, becoming more empathic with them and helping them to understand exactly your meaning to all the words that you have. above and beyond: how to work with an affluent clientle I recently read a story about the Ritz Carlton Hotel that got me to thinking about how to really cater to and take care of a wealthy client, thereby keeping them interested and connected to you and your product or service. further adventures in organization If you know me at all, you know I'm a busy man--from teaching my weekly coaching calls, giving seminars, working up lesson plans for the Persuasion Factor to spending time with my family and friends and working with the religious organization I am involved in. I wish there were more hours in a day. On top of all that, I'm undergoing some personal transitions that require a whole other list of things to do. . . With all this I know the main thing that has kept me on target has been the ability to organize. softening up your prospects I'm curious about something and I wonder if you wouldn't mind clearing it up. . . getting personal There are certain cultural norms and rules of decorum people are expected to adhere to in society and in business contexts specifically. I am of the mind that rules are meant to be bent, if not broken entirely. Curiosity Cultivation I recently came across the following list written/compiled by David Heenan: Ten Keys to Life Fulfillment: 1. Listen to your heart 2. Take one step at a time 3. Deliver daily 4. Maintain a maverick mind-set 5. Focus, focus, focus 6. Never stop learning 7. Build a brain trust (network of knowledgeable people) 8. Reinvent Yourself 9. Sell Yourself 10. Start now! History--it's All Frames "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." --Abraham H. Maslow The Final Four: Linguistic Pitfalls Part Two It seems a few of you are paying attention. That thrills me. In part one of this article I talked about the eight pitfalls we have in language though I only cited four of them--but, if, try, might. The comments at the end of my blog entry on the above topic proves that open loops work. Backing The Ambulance Up To The Door: The 'away' Perspective When I teach my students about the towards and away continuum, I get asked the following question a lot: Isn't an 'away' person just a really negative personality type? I want to start out by saying, no, not necessarily. I won't deny the fact that there are truly negative people out there, but a person who is inclined to move away from a problem as opposed to running towards an outcome, is not fundamentally negative. Persuasive Self Critique My students often request that I listen to their speeches and presentations to comment on what I see as their strengths and weaknesses in their persuasion skills. Unfortunately, I haven't discovered a way to exist without sleep and I don't have enough hours in a day to do everything that I want to do and everything that is requested of me. Persuasion Continuums Ii: Getting In Deeper In a previous article "Persuasion Continuums" I began to describe one of the most powerful tools of persuasion. When I last left you, you were either completely confused about or you were well on your way to understanding one of the slickest tools in the persuasion toolbox. Touchy Feely Persuasion Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. To Be (sneaky) Or Not To Be (sneaky) Recently a student of mine posted a comment about my use of the relationship between teacher and student in an example of presupposition. They suggested, with a wink and a smiley face, that maybe I was being a little sneaky in using the example in a persuasive way. So Much Persuasion: Ways To Learn A student recently asked me, "Kenrick, how the heck do you keep track of all of the persuasion strategies you know? Each time we have a coaching call, it seems like you pull out some new strategy. I can't even remember the basics like using the unconscious hello. How can I remember to remember?' Kicking Negativity "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD Speeding Up Rapport With Stories So say you're face to face with a brand new prospect. They've heard a little bit about you, your reputation, what kind of a person you are and yet, maybe they still have some defenses which you are going to need to overcome before rapport has been established and they can feel good trusting you completely. Organizing For Persuasion "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein Spare Parts: Segmenting Personality For Sales Persuasion Parts. We are all made up of parts. A part of me wants a bagel with cream cheese, but another part of me really wants to continue to become healthier. Part of me wants to go take a nap, but this other part wants to finish the project I started. We divide ourselves into parts as a way to talk about our experiences. Who's To Blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer Small Changes/big Changes 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein The Power Of Persuasion Ancient Chinese Style "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb Seeing The Light: Visual Systems Of Representation In previous articles I've written about the representational systems we all use in relation to communication and how we see the world (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic being the most widely used) and the value it has in gaining rapport with your affluent prospects and clients. In this article, I want to focus our sites on visual language. How The Media Persuades "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche How To Structure Reality "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits Attack Of The Sales Zombies Technology is both liberating and somewhat of a pain. I've been updating my computer again lately and have made a number of trips to my local computer super store for equipment. Usually I know what I need, I get in, find it, and leave. But on occasion, when I'm trying to find a more expensive item, I have an experience which I call 'Attack of the Sales Zombies'. Turn Your "obstacles" Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer The Power Of Imagination "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer Luxury: It's All Relative "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." --Charlie Chaplin Leave It To The Future Here's a bit of an advanced technique. It's called future pacing and it works to remind your prospect or client of all the reasons they made the decision to buy your product or service. It transfers all of these reasons to a future point in time and triggers your prospect to remember them when an anchor is fired off. Selling With Emotion You know what's overrated? Rationality. I know, I know, it's important to have your feet firmly planted on the ground in order to grow roots, in order to have a foundation, a base from which to work. But in business the idea of rationality has become supreme and I think we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' business to faceless corporations that is an integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle. How To Maintain Good Boundaries In Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Power Metaphors For Persuasion Many folks consider the concept of 'energy' to be somewhat new agey. Personally I consider it to be an integral part of understanding the self. And understanding ourselves, is absolutely the first step in learning to persuade. The Forbidden As Persuasion 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Awareness Pattern In Persuasion "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller Three Of A Kind: Repetition As Persuasion "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley Courage: Master The Fear "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain Blame As Persuasion: Use With Caution In a previous article I talked about using the term 'everything happens for a reason' to utilize the trust that many people have in this concept. I also wrote about superstition and the concept that 'there are no accidents' which happens to be a very powerful persuasion tool, and if you've read those two articles and attempted to implement the learning into your life, you already know what I mean about power. Your Own Personal Genie: Creating Your Universe In Pictures Are there things in life that you have wanted but which have eluded you? Material things, physical attributes, human connections-that for one reason or another you've simply been unable to achieve? How To Adjust Your Lens So now we have some framing basics. By no means can framing be summed up in three little articles, but in that, there's a beginning foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Real Resolution It's that time of year again--time to recreate ourselves anew, time to create a map of what we want for ourselves, of ourselves, for the new year. I love this time of year because I love self improvement on any level. It's an optimistic time and a time when we realize that we have an incredible potential to create what we want. Calibrating For Rapport When I was a young man my first job in sales was selling gym memberships. One of the trainers that worked at this gym was a great guy, funny, sociable, and well liked, but he had tremendous difficulty communicating with certain types of people. My favorite thing about him was that he was always himself. This character trait had the downside of putting him against a wall where he became ineffective in his job. Yes! "All that man achieves, and all that he fails to achieve is a direct result of his own thoughts." -James Allen Setting Your Frame From The Start Everything has a beginning. A starting point. And when we have clarity and intention when we start something, it sets the way for what we can expect. When you sit down to start a presentation or begin to talk with a new client or prospect, how do you start? Short Circuiting Buyer's Remorse Every single human being on the planet today wants to believe that they have done something of value for themselves when they've made a purchase, and that they've used their ability to choose well and make a good decision. And as a result of this they want to know they're not going to feel bad about the choices they've made. On the Contrary: How To Deal With a Polarity Responder All of us have known a polarity responder at one time or another. A polarity responder, regardless of the situation, will respond in opposition to anything you say. 'It's a beautiful day.' The Continuums of Persuasion: Keys to Your Prospect's Particulars I heard a joke recently that I thought was pretty funny. 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Eliciting Peak Emotional States for Persuasive Power We've all had this experience: a song comes on the radio and we're transported back to a time and place ten, fifteen, twenty years ago or longer. Maybe it was a song that reminded us of a time when we were struggling through a broken heart, or maybe it was just the opposite, the soundtrack for our first true love. Negating Words: But I really like you, but. . . Is it true? Does Everything Happen for a Reason? An acquaintance called a while ago and said, 'Do you remember the conversation we had about Africa? Well, you're not going to believe this, but I just got an e-mail informing me that I've won an international lottery originating in Africa. I'm convinced everything happens for a reason, aren't you?' The Persuasive Power of Supporting Evidence I got a call from an acquaintance a while back. He said, 'Do you remember the conversation we had about Africa? Well, I checked my e-mail and found, unbelievably, that I won an international lottery which originated in Africa. I'm just convinced that everything happens for a reason, aren't you?' When Friendlies Attack I like the way Abraham Lincoln said it best, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" Old Fashioned Sales: Features and Benefits If you've ever cooked noodles you know that you can determine if they are done by throwing the noodle against the wall to see if it sticks. If it does, then it's done. When I think of 'features and benefits', I think of someone throwing a whole pot of noodles against the wall to see what sticks. Creating Your Universes: The First Step "Civilization advances as more and more of life's essentials are absorbed by the unconscious." -Diane Ackerman, "An Alchemy of Mind: The Marvel and Mystery of the Brain" Progression Sequence: Back to Bondage "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependency back again into bondage." --Sir Alex Fraser Tyler (1742-1813) Scottish jurist and historian The Self Fulfilling Prophesy of Breath "Simply breathe - deeply and often, and whatever you do, don't stop breathing!" --Cheryl Lynne Rubbo In this exercise, you're going to learn to lead your wealthy clients and prospects with a simple word: breathe. It's something they do to stay alive, and yet, you're going to take credit for this biological function for persuasion purposes. Persuade the Affluent Through Embedded Suggestions "Persuasion is often more effectual than force." -Aesop Resonating with Affluence: What is your worth? Persuasion is a huge field of study. . . as big as human nature itself. And as I continue to explore all of persuasion in my work, lately I've been focusing in the very specific goal of persuading the affluent and accessing that affluent mindset within ourselves. Getting Into The Flow "The real 'haves' are they who can acquire freedom, self-confidence, and even riches without depriving others of them. They acquire all of these by developing and applying their potentialities. On the other hand, the real 'have nots' are they who cannot have aught except by depriving others of it. They can feel free only by diminishing the freedom of others, self-confident by spreading fear and dependence among others, and rich by making others poor." - Eric Hoffer Cold Calling R.I.P. Sometimes it's hard to let go. We've all been there... not wanting to say goodbye to something that we've outgrown, not letting go of someone who wasn't good for us. Becoming the Ultimate Empathizer Empathy: The ability to identify with and experience the vicarious feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person. The Benefits of Patient Attention When I was a kid I was raised on a farm. I used to help my grandpa plant fruit trees. Some of them were hybrids - really cute little trees. The Martian's Guide To American Politics Indulge me for a moment while I veer off into the world of fantasy for a moment. The world of make believe, our crazy political world from a martian's perspective. Larry Craig's Incongruency In the movie The Usual Suspects there's a scene where a detective is interrogating an alleged criminal. Knowing When To Keep Your Mouth Shut This is crazy. . . It's a few weeks old, but very interesting in terms of when to talk and when not to talk. Using Rhythm and Vibration To Gain Rapport "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." ~Buddha Persuasion Within The Pink Bubble "It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, Of all things physical and metaphysical, Of all things human and all things super-human, Of all true manifestations of the head, Of the heart, of the soul, That the life is recognizable in its expression, That form ever follows function. This is the law." ~Louis Sullivan Framing Out of Fear: Islamophobia Phobias and isms... they come in all shapes and sizes. There's racism, sexism, classism, sizeism, anti-Semitism, anti-intellectualism... All of these represent a belief of superiority of one race, gender, class, size, or religion over another or a hatred of one against another. All Things Not Being Equal: Social Position in Persuasion "Do not worry about holding high position; worry rather about playing your proper role." ~Confucius Befriending Your Gentle Giant: A Lesson In Self Motivation "It is as if evolution has built a safety device in our nervous system that allows us to experience full happiness only when we are living at 100% - when we are fully using the physical and mental equipment we have been given." ~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Gaslighting: Stirring Up Doubt Here's an example of a very powerful psychological and persuasive strategy called gaslighting. Frame, Reframe An employee of mine, my transcriptionist, was living in New Orleans until August 28, 2005. On that day, she and her boyfriend and their cats drove north to Tennessee to ride out the storm in a pet friendly hotel. I Just Can't Help Myself: Framing The Third and Fourth Taboos To further illustrate the persuasive power of framing, I've chosen a few pretty hot topics. I'm hoping to stir us all up a little. Persuading With the Unconscious Mind "Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding." ~ Ambrose Bierce The Power of Need: Persuading Utilizing Your Prospect's Needs "Nothing has more strength than dire necessity." ~ Euripides Persuasive Oration: Watching What You Say Language is an art. Persuasion is too. Of course, both can also be mangled. As with any art, most likely you'll have to practice to be good with language and subsequently, persuasion. Keeping it Simple: Persuasion for Beginners "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."-Henry David Thoreau Persuasion Through Storytelling: Gaining Affluent Client's Trust "To be a person is to have a story to tell." ~Isaac Dennison Forgiveness: Clearing Out Your Attic Can Lead to Happiness "Forgiveness means that you do not hold others responsible for your experiences." ~Gary Zukav Linguistical Pitfalls in Persuasion (Part I) "Linguistics is arguably the most hotly contested property in the academic realm. It is soaked with the blood of poets, theologians, philosophers, philologists, psychologists, biologists, anthropologists, and neurologists, along with whatever blood can be got out of grammarians."- Russ Rymer Employing The "Loop D Loop" In Persuasion Persuasion is made up of a lot of things and one of the most powerful techniques is the language pattern. The temporal pattern loop is one of my favorites.