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When Your Boss Wastes Your Time A case study of how to communicate with a boss who is not aware of his negative impact on his employee's ability to get her work done. Change Takes More Than a New Year's Resolution One reason why it is so hard to establish new habits is that you usually try to do it by yourself. Managing Relationship Misconceptions Repeating the pattern of relationships you grew up with is not always a good fit for your current reality. How To Tell The Truth At Work (Part 3 of 3) Understanding and using these principles will help you feel more confident about the choices you make and help you develop the skills you need to tell the truth with grace and skill. How To Tell The Truth At Work (Part 1 of 3) Understanding and using these principles will help you feel more confident about the choices you make and help you develop the skills you need to tell the truth with grace and skill. How To Tell The Truth At Work (Part 2 of 3) Understanding and using these principles will help you feel more confident about the choices you make and help you develop the skills you need to tell the truth with grace and skill. Affirmations Are Lies Many programs for working with affirmations would have you believe that repeating these lies over and over again will make your subconscious mind believe that they're true. Coaching for Burnout, Balance and Success (Part 2 of 2) The Coaching Process: there is no standard process. Coaching for Burnout, Balance and Success (Part 1 of 2) Need a Life? Get a Coach. Coaching is one solution to the problem of helping overwhelmed and overstressed business people Customer Service: A Little Means A Lot How a single employee can ruin a company's reputation. Your Business Or Your Life There are always more things to do than you have the time or money to manage. How you are able to cope with this situation determines whether you have a chance of becoming a successful business owner. The Gift Of The Gorilla What is the best gift you ever received? When Getting Married Threatens a Great Relationship The act of getting married is essentially turning on an automatic program that says what you and your spouse must do when you get married. Are You Arguing With Your Child? Many parents believe that the best way to teach children to be successful is to teach them to obey. Teach them to argue, instead! Coaching: From Frustration to Success Sometimes you need a mirror to see how you may be getting in the way of your own success. For Greater Effectiveness, Learn How To Give Feedback Feedback is a critical element for working out relationships with coworkers, friends and family members. Unfortunately, "feedback" can become a euphemism for not very constructive criticism. Completing What Can't Be Changed If you are still trying to change something that can't be changed, you are wasting your energy. Addiction: An Attempt to Get Enough You can't get enough of something if it isn't what you really need. The more you know about what you really need, the more likely you are to be successful and happy. Building Connections - Even When You're Scared How to create good connections with others, even if you're shy or uncomfortable. Difficult Decisions: When to Give Up How do you decide when to give up when something isn't working? Procrastination or Prioritizing? The reasons for procrastination are as varied as the people who procrastinate. Here are some ways to deal with it. Say Something Useful When You Talk To Yourself The story you tell yourself about who you are in the world has an enormous influence on how you approach problems. You can change your story to change how you handle the problems. Procrastination: Taming The Monster Everyone procrastinates, it is a natural response to ambivalence. If you want to complete something, but feel stuck, try these steps. It's best to go through them with at least one trusted friend. Self Deception is Still Deception! Each of us has our own favorite ways of avoiding unwanted information. They provide temporary relief from facing some of the seemingly overwhelming challenges of life. The trouble comes later. Have You Ever Been Disappointed on Valentine's Day? A true story: How Allison got what she really wanted on Valentines Day. Are You Attractive? Eight simple principles for being an attractive person. Does Anyone Dare to Tell the Truth? Practicing deception has become normal for many people. You need to work to create a situation where telling the truth becomes normal again. Communicating Emotionally Difficult Information Nine steps you can use when it's time to say something sensitive or potentially upsetting to someone you work with. Changing Conflict To Dialogue It is easier to create an argument than it is to create a dialogue. Dialogue is a different kind of conversation. It's a way of exploring and understanding information and ideas. When practiced, it draws on and uses the wisdom of everyone involved. Conflict: Hazards of Helping (Part 4 of 4) Successful conflict intervention professionals do not "fix" things for their clients. Instead, they lead clients through the process of resolving their own issues in a supportive and effective manner. Conflict: The Critical Questions (Part 3 of 4) When you've taken on the task of helping others resolve conflict, your most important job is to know what questions must be answered to help clarify the situation. The more of these 26 questions you can answer, the more successful you will be. Conflict: Steps to Resolution (Part 2 of 4) Although strategies for intervening in conflict can be varied and creative, successful intervention strategies do have certain themes in common. Above all, everyone involved must be treated with respect. Conflict: Unavoidable and Potentially Positive (Part 1 of 4) Effective conflict intervention can help transform a conflict situation into an opportunity for change, growth and development of creative solutions to an organization's most difficult problems. 10 Proven Steps to Defuse Criticism Even though you probably hate being criticized, when you receive it instead of trying to deflect it, you can defuse the criticism that inevitably comes your way. Here's how. When You're Afraid to Talk to Your Boss... Learning to communicate effectively at work is a common challenge. It gets easier when you recognize how your own history may be creating the mis-perceptions that are blocking your success. Is He Trying To Control You? Relationship advice for women who feel like victims of controlling husbands. Discover how you are cooperating in maintaining such an unproductive relationship and explore your options for making critical changes. Feedback: Listening to What You Don't Want to Hear If you hate any kind of feedback, because it feels like criticism, and you despise confrontation, you may be limiting your opportunities for success. Use these 10 steps to learn to extract useful information from any criticism. Disarming Defensive Behavior Some people need to be right whether they are or not.They're so defensive, it's a real challenge to get them to address any problem. Here are a successful team leader's stratagies for sidesteping their defensiveness. You Can't Play Win-Win With A Bully Until... When being polite and understanding gets you nowhere, you may be trying to cooperate with a bully. It simply won't work. You must start by giving him a reason to listen to you. A Model Husband: Why Does She Want a New Model? You may believe that never arguing with each other will make your relationship strong. What usually happens though, is because you're both human you have different needs and wants. If you never even notice, let alone discuss (argue about?) your different needs and wants, you may not even realize the damage you're doing to your relationship. Overcome Conversation Power Plays: 5 Steps to Success When you know you are supposed to "just shut up and listen," and you really want to get your point across, you have options. Follow these steps to reclaim your own power. Use Anger Productively: A 5 Step Process Anger is neither good nor bad! It is simply energy. It is your natural emotional energy that arises when you feel like something (or someone) is blocking you from getting what you need or want. Here are 5 steps you can take to direct your own supercharged energy. An Argument About Money May Really Be About Something Else Almost everything you do is done for a reason, but sometimes you have to look below the surface to discover the really important hidden reason for your behavior. Jim was collecting evidence to support his arguments, instead of looking at what was relly bothering him. Overcome Overwhelm: 10 Ways to Slow Down and Win -- It's easy to become overwhelmed by overcommiting yourself. When you think through your agreements BEFORE you make them, it becomes much easier to stay on target, follow through and achieve success.